Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
