just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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