Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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