wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
