and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
