We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
