You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
