U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize