Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
