Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
