Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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