): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it