you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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