Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
