Fuck appropriateness.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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