She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize