Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I will die if light touches me.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
