You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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