It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
