lets start a swedish sibling band together
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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