dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
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The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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