i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
