We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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