worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
