I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
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Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
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Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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