it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Can I color on your dick again?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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