i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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