I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize