She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
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I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
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That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy