i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
high people should be assigned attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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