I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.