whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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