Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.