Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.

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  (703): I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight. http://tfl.nu/7bae
  Replies (3) Good night (1770) Bad night (738)
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  (818): View more from California

  Jake died.

  (310): View more from California

  WTF????????? That's how you tell me????

  (818): View more from California

  Oops typo. Jake cried.

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  (818): Jake died. (310): WTF????????? That's how you tell me???? (818): Oops typo. Jake cried. http://tfl.nu/zib8
  Replies (41) Good night (5058) Bad night (1547)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.

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  (586): so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way. http://tfl.nu/j3jb
  Replies (15) Good night (3172) Bad night (772)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  How did the beer even get there in the first place?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  That's not what's important right now

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  (734): Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina? (1-734): How did the beer even get there in the first place? (734): That's not what's important right now http://tfl.nu/17l2
  Replies (30) Good night (3176) Bad night (4032)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career

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  (416): Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career http://tfl.nu/ywum
  Replies (5) Good night (2851) Bad night (1209)
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  (949): View more from California

  Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"

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  (949): Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick" http://tfl.nu/m9ln
  Replies (22) Good night (3905) Bad night (1309)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening

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  (604): I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening http://tfl.nu/c0v1
  Replies (44) Good night (1671) Bad night (7106)
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  (916): View more from California

  You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.

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  (916): You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you. http://tfl.nu/ukeu
  Replies (4) Good night (791) Bad night (1788)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit

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  (910): i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit http://tfl.nu/ocpj
  Replies (18) Good night (4194) Bad night (871)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs

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  (567): She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs http://tfl.nu/brto
  Replies (9) Good night (2690) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.

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  (+61): I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING. http://tfl.nu/8crd
  Replies (1) Good night (745) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....

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  (480): There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night.... http://tfl.nu/234u
  Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (509)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.

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  (973): DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC. http://tfl.nu/am4q
  Replies (3) Good night (591) Bad night (397)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.

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  (276): LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything. http://tfl.nu/o8kx
  Replies (1) Good night (689) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Maybe he injected his testicle?

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  (619): Maybe he injected his testicle? http://tfl.nu/d1yk
  Replies (4) Good night (270) Bad night (581)

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