Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life