check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
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I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
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Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.