I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
