I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize