how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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