Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
