I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just had sex on a roof
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
