Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
