She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I touched a dick in church today
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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