I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
