I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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