your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
