just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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