I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize