She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
