Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He has the fingertips of a God
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