Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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