I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I looked at my own cervix.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
