Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
