Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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