I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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