Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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