I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize