I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
