mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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