halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
