you win again, gameday.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
