OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
