It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
