Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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