i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
did you just send me my own nude
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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