He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
