their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
