I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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