nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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